I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
