He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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