i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize