Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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