Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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