she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
