I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
