Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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