Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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