So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
