Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
