Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
