Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
