I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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