i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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