This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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