He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
did i walk over a car last night?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
