I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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