So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
