sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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