Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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