he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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