So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
