i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize