I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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