just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
