I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
