how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
