I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
