Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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