You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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