It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
