New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just cropdusted the office
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
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