If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize