if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
