Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
