She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize