This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
