I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
