I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You are the jesus of drinking
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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