We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
