Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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