the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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