i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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