Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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