mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Let's get the cat blown out
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
