My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
