Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
