They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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