So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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