I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
