I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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