i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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