his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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