After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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