Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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