mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
