i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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