i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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