do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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