I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Holy sore nipples Batman
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
