tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
