Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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