Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
