I can't watch pbs sober anymore
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize