aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
