Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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