WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
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I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
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i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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