I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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