what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Randomize
