if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
