Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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