I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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