I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
