All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
