Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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