well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Randomize
